8 Times America Ruined Poutine For Everyone

By April 7, 2017Articles, poutine

By: Jeremy Hazan

Poutine is a magical dish, and it only requires 3 ingredients.

So it’s amazing to see how badly Americans can screw up such a simple recipe.

READ ALSO: 9 Poutine Spots In Montreal You Wish You’d Known About Sooner

It’s really not that complicated to make, and yet chefs, food bloggers and random restaurants in America keep creating these poutine monstosities.

And they need to be stopped!

Via starchefs

1. The Oxtail Grated Cheese Poutine

Location:

  • Los Angeles

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • This “Oxtail Poutine” has 30 ingredients instead of 3. These include, red wine, carrots, onions, celery root and cream. Plus, the cheese is listed as “Extra sharp Cheddar, grated”.

Source

Via Yelp

2. The Greek Poutine

Location:

  • San Francisco

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • This “Greek style” poutine is topped with Feta, which is literally the cheese that melts in the weirdest way possible. Oh, and forget about about gravy, have some of this mystery pink sauce instead.

Source

Via nmgastronome

3. The Abomination

Location: 

  • Albuquerque

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • Where do I start? First off, they topped this with tomatoes and white sauce, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, it has something called “pork green chili gravy”, and cilantro crema.

Source

Via aeb

4. The Breakfast Poutine

Location:

  • Somewhere sad in America

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • The American Egg Board decided to invent this breakfast poutine to encourage Americans to eat more eggs. I assume the plan backfired horribly because this poutine is made up of scrambled eggs, so there no yolk (which is the whole point of a breakfast poutine), pepper cream gravy, and orange cheese cubes. Yum!

Source

Via datesbykate

5. The Poutine Fondue

Location:

  • Portland, and possibly Hell.

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • They tried to make it fancier by putting it in that shiny serving dish but it still look more like a gravy fondue than a poutine.

Source

Via reddit

6. The All-American Poutine

Location:
  • Wisconsin:

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • Just read the description.

Source

Via huffingtonpost

7. The WTF!

Location:

  • Seattle

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • This is what you get in America when you ask for cheese, fries and gravy. Seriously what’s with all these white cream based gravies in America?

Source

Via yelp

8. The Cube Poutine

Location:

  • Nashua

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • Just looks at those cheese cubes in all their geometrical glory.

Source

BONUS: Americans aren’t the only ones who ruin poutine, Vancouver is guilty as well.

Via poutinechronicles

9. The Canadian Disaster

Location: 

  • Vancouver Island

What Makes It So Horrible:

  • Just look at it. It’s an abomination, and it needs to be cleansed with fire.

By: Jeremy Hazan

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Author Poutine Canada

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